Yana Bitkina

Sooner or later everyone ponders how to prepossess people to himself. Without this knowledge, it is very difficult to live in the present society. Even if you do not feel any problems in communicating, it will also be useful to read it and bring out something new for yourself. So, these skills will not be superfluous to absolutely everyone.



A request for a favour.

This technique is known as an effect named after famous Benjamin Franklin. Once Benjamin needed to instate himself in favour of one person, but the man disliked Franklin. Then he gently and politely turned to him with a request to give him for a while a book that was quite rare. Having received it, he even more flatteringly thanked him at that time, and so they became friends. The whole secret is that the person who once did you a favour thinks that you will not refuse him with a counteroffer, and therefore will be more willing to help you next time.

 Ask for more than you need.

It is enough to ask a person for something a little more than you need or even unreal at the first request. It is very likely that you will get a refusal. Then you can ask for what you planned initially — a person will feel so uncomfortable after the first refusal that he will respond more readily to your second request.

 Calling a person by his name in a conversation is the key to achieving a result.

Dale Carnegie, a well-known American psychologist, proves that if you call him by name when talking to a person, this will significantly increase the chances to endear this person to you. After all, one’s own name is very pleasant to hear and this contributes to being more lenient towards the opponent.


It may seem obvious, but it is not so simple actually. After all, if you flatter factitiously, it will only bring harm, and there can be no question about any good-natured attitude toward you. Everything about the cognitive balance — if flattery is directed towards a person with an overestimated self-esteem, then your words will only confirm his opinion of himself, and he will surely like it. But if flattery is expressed to a person with a clearly underestimated self-esteem, then this can lead to a disagreement between your words and his opinion about himself, and you will be alienated.

 Mimicry or reflection.

It often turns out that you repeat companion’s manner of speech, behaviour and even gestures without even knowing it. It is no wonder that you can do it in a conscious way. There is a proof that people behave much more positively with a man who repeats their manners, even if he makes no special assistance to the conversation. Probably there are the same factors as the calling the name of the opponent, it is nice for a person to hear, and in this case, also see the similar manner.

 Listen and analyze.

Telling another person that he is wrong is not the best strategy to achieve a goodwill. It is necessary to behave differently, namely — to listen to a person, to try to find out what he feels at the moment. This will give you the opportunity to see common features in your, at first sight, cardinally different aspects.

 By repeating and practising all these methods, you can significantly improve people’s attitude to yourself. Each method is individual and does not guarantee 100% result, but it is definitely worth trying. Do not despair after a failed attempt, but rather wait for some time and try one of the other methods.